When grit and resilience is all you have left.

How many times have you used the word try? If you are like me, I guess you would use it a lot. I tried to do this and it did not work. I tried to that but it never pan out. I tried, I tried and I tried. I tried to make the grade but the test was too hard. I can tell you so many things about me trying to make things work, but in essence, I was just half challenging myself rather than fully challenging myself. I tried to this, but it did not work. So I just gave up on the idea and do something different. My mother would call me the queen of giving up on ideas. I never stuck to one thing. I started to do something but once it became hard to manage, I gave up. That was the story of my life then, but it is not the story of me now.

I had to learn how to design a business card. Yes, I had to dig deep to find that grit and started to play around with tyhe photoshop application my brother has on his computer. I did not know what I was doing, I can tell you how many  times I screamed internally at this, or how I wanted to give up on it. I did not know how to do it. Yea I tried and it is too hard. But I was reminded, that I should just stop try and just do. My boyfriend’s famous words to me. I keep on saying I tried and I tried, but did I try hard enough. I guess not. I kept on looking at the problem and not looking for a solution. Like I said, I did not know what I was doing, photoshop was a new concept to me. and when I look at it, oh my gosh, I did not have the artistic skills that my brother had. I did not know how to make this design, or better yet, I did not know what was a gradient over lay or a inner glow. Those words were foreign to me.

It was time for me to be pushed out of the proverbial nest and my boyfriend was the hawk that was making it uncomfortable for me. I was miserable. I was uncomfortable in my skin. I knew he was right. But I did not want to admit it. I wanted to cry and mope like always and drown myself in a tub of ice cream and watch sappy movies, but there was something that he said to me that resonated. I needed to learn resilience and grit. Then I was reminded of my grandmother’s spirit. A woman who showed resilience, even when things seemed to be going badly, she was always positive and she did everything to make it work. I did not know how to how to do it, but I was going to learn. I had to just stop trying and just do. That is what I just did. I just do. After spending my Wednesday depressed, crying and moping in bed with a headache, I had to find a way to learn a new skill.

University of Youtube was my saving grace. Instead of listening to music, I got down to the nitty gritty and learnt how to make a business card. It was tedious, hard work and I did not know what the heck I was doing. I screamed internally, sighed outwardly, forgot to eat because I had to get this. I did not want to be seen as the simpering person who cried at everything. Thursday was my saving grace. Though yes I went through a day of depression on Wednesday, Thursday was the day I started to emerge from that dark shadow. The sky finally broke from its gloomy days and now the sun was peeking behind those clouds. I was ready to move on. Like I said, I screamed bloody murder at the tedious task.

The first time I tried to create the card, I sucked at it. I was ready to give up and “mi jus can badda” I tried and it seemed so hard and that was the time I was ready to call it quits, call my boyfriend and say I cant do this and get the cussing of all cussing to rival the one I got on Tuesday. I did not call him and neither did I give up. I went against the grain and stuck it out. I started over the video, and I started over the design process and I just told myself, I am not going to move until I create my first card. So I did. I created my card. I played with photoshop like a new toy and I listened to everything. My boyfriend called me and I told him what I was doing, and he gave me pointers. I jumped on those pointers and I implemented. I got so inspired that I started to do things on my own, setting margins, playing with shadows, finding things on Google that could help me. Did I tell you, I did not know what I was doing? I did not know what I was doing.

Grit and resilience were all that I had left in me. I did not know that I had them, until I had reached the bottom. Believe me, if I did not have my boyfriend to give me that cussing that rivaled all cussing, I would not know I had the grit to stick it out. I did not even know that I could create the design. I did not know I could get create a logo or a design a business card with emboss and gradient overlay (the French words that I never knew). I am a new designer, yes I can safely say I am a business card designer and I am proud of my new found skill. Everyday I come home from work and practice and practice. I may not get it the first time, but I know eventually it will become a skill that will be with me.When I showed my friends and family the cards that I designed, they were amazed. I told them, university of Youtube was where I learnt how to do this.

You see, you have to stop trying and just do. You have to just dig deep. Tek di cussing. It may bring you to tears, make you sink into depression until you hit the bottom and then the only way to go is up. I hit the bottom of my barrel and the only way I need to go is up. I have stopped crying and not give up. If I can do it, yes me crying tears me at most things me. If I can do it..so can you. So if you want to have a business card designed hit me up, or if you want to do it, then be like nike and just do it. .

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